


echoes (i'm right here)

by katebishoop



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Invisibility, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02, Season/Series 02 Spoilers, Trapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:31:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katebishoop/pseuds/katebishoop
Summary: Shiro disappears, but he never really leaves.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bowlingfornerds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowlingfornerds/gifts).



> special thanks to [lana](http://marauders-groupie.tumblr.com) for beta-ing this despite have never seeing voltron
> 
> for [bethany](http://tempestaurora.tumblr.com), tense master and all around queen
> 
> this entire fic was inspired by "shiro's going ghost" somewhere deep in our tumlr chat
> 
> also, took some liberties with how the powers of the Black Lion/bayard work

He drifts.

There’s nothing but darkness around him, smears of light off in the distance. He feels weightless, but not the kind of weightlessness you feel in space, there’s something heavy about it.

He drifts in and out of consciousness, doesn’t really even know the difference between the two.

* * *

When he wakes, he’s in the Black Lion.

His Galra arm is gone, destroyed and shattered on the ground. He feels off balance without it.

“Hey, girl,” he says, but the Black Lion doesn’t stir. She’s lying down, crumpled. None of her controls are working, all the consoles dark. She must still be damaged from their fight with Zarkon-

_The others! He needed to find the others-_

He runs out of Black, looking wildly around - it’s dark, the lights out. That’s not a good sign, that can’t be-

There’s a figure at the foot of the Black Lion, its back to him as it walks away. He knows that silhouette anywhere.

“Keith!” He calls out, but Keith doesn’t turn. Shiro runs faster, desperate to catch up. “Keith-”

Shiro reaches out a hand to Keith-

Shiro’s hand goes right through him. His hand phases right through Keith.

Shiro freezes.

His blood stills in his veins.

_What? No, it couldn’t-_

He tries again, but the same thing happens. He can’t touch Keith, he goes right through him, he-

Keith turns around, and Shiro thinks for a moment, that it’s all over, that it worked-

But the look on Keith’s face is all the confirmation he needs. Eyes red rimmed and full of tears, face in agony, looking right through him and up at the Black Lion.

“Where’d you go, Shiro?” Keith whispers, voice cracking.

“I’m right here!” Shiro yells, trying to grab onto Keith, “I’m right here, Keith! KEITH! _KEITH!”_

He runs after him, so fast that he overtakes him, goes right through him even.

Keith’s about halfway down the hall before he stops, bracing himself against the wall. It forces Shiro to a halt. Keith’s body shakes with sobs as he collapses to his knees, letting the grief take over.

Shiro falls too, crawls over to him. He puts his arms around him, and holds him while he cries. But it doesn’t matter: Keith can’t feel any of it.

They all think he’s dead, and he might as well be.

* * *

 

Weeks go by.

None of them can see him, or hear him, or feel him. Keith hasn’t broken down again since that first time, but it still weighs heavy on him, Shiro can see. It weighs hard on all of them.

It’s torture - to hear Hunk and Lance talk about missing him, about how much they looked up to him, when he’s standing right there. Pidge’s breakdown - about him, about her family - is almost too much for him to bear. Allura and Coran are quiet, sullen in their grief and confusion.

The Black Lion is the only place that Shiro feels solid. He can touch her controls, lean on the walls, sit in the chair. He goes there when they’re all sleeping, or when he can’t take their faces anymore. He can’t actually _feel_ anything, but he doesn’t phase through her like a ghost, at least.

He’s there most of the night, then he’s patrolling the halls. Keeping a watch over them. Making sure there are no intruders, that they are still on course. He doesn’t even know _how_ he’d alert them - he’s had no luck at making contact - but it keeps his mind at peace, for the most part.

He stops dead in his tracks when he turns down the dormitory hall.

Keith’s out of his bed, standing in front of Shiro’s bedroom door. Shiro watches him, trying his best to keep quiet as if he was still corporal.

Keith stares at the door, and Shiro stares at him.

Shiro doesn’t follow when Keith goes back into his room. That’s one thing that Shiro’s avoiding: going into the team’s rooms when they’re all asleep. He doesn’t want to invade any of their privacy.

He doesn’t want to feel like he’s looking down at them from some form of _above._  

The mere thought of that makes him feel sick.

* * *

They leave his room untouched, his things unmoved.

At meals, his seat remains empty. So he sits - or stands through the chair, rather - and pretends he’s actually there. He does that with other things: he learns Altean with Pidge, he cooks with Hunk, swims with Lance, spars with Keith.

It almost feels like business as usual.

But it isn't like that. There's this cloud hanging over their heads thanks to his absence.

There’s not much conversation, generally. It used to be lively, back when Shiro was…

Either way, the air feels different today. That he can feel. The tension is so thick he could cut it with a knife.

Allura keeps glancing at Keith, everyone really is, like they’re waiting for him to do something. Keith doesn’t eat any of his food, just pushes it around with his fork.

Keith tends to skip meals when he’s upset. He loses his appetite easily. They had worked on that together, but...

Shiro’s stopped trying to touch them, especially Keith. It’s too painful to see himself phase right through them.

Allura clears her throat, “Keith.”

Keith sighs and heaves himself out of his chair. “We’re not discussing this.”

“We need to be able to form Voltron, we can’t without-”

“We can’t without Shiro.” Keith grinds out. “So find him.”

Allura’s look is one of pain and pity. “It’s been two months Keith, and we’ve found no trace. I hate this as much as-”

“No, no you don’t.” Keith’s hands clench into fists. “You don’t, or you’d actually care about finding him.”

_I’m right here. I’m right here._

Allura swallows hard. “Shiro entrusted Voltron to you in his absence, did he not?” Allura takes a few steps towards Keith. Shiro could cut the tension in the room with a knife. “You’ve piloted the Black Lion before-”

“Black hasn’t moved since Shiro went missing, she’s waiting for him.”

“I think you’re the one who's waiting.”

“Who would pilot Red then? _You_?” Keith’s voice is full of venom. “Do you want to be a part of Voltron so _desperately_ you’re willing to give up on Shiro!?”

Shiro learned that he couldn’t cry in his state. He feels the pain of it, the heartache, the pressure in his throat, but no tears would come. If they could, they’d be flowing now.

“You say entrusted me with Voltron, that I’m the leader now?” Keith’s shaking, a livewire. “Well if I’m the leader - I say we keep searching. No one goes near the Black Lion. It belongs to Shiro.”

“Keith,” Hunk says softly, “maybe Allura’s-”

“I’m not listening to this anymore. I’ll go by myself if I have to, since none of you seem to care.” Keith storms out of the dining hall.

Shiro doesn’t follow Keith, instead he watches everyone else. There’s tears on Pidge’s cheeks that he wants nothing more than to be able to wipe away.

“Do you really think he’s dead?” she asks.

_I’m right here I’m right here I’m right here._

“I don’t know, Pidge.” Allura hangs her head. “I really don’t know.”

* * *

There’s stories back on Earth, legends and superstitions about ghosts.

A ghost will haunt the place where they have died, until their unfinished business is taken care of. Until those left behind have accepted it, or they themselves have. Until their soul is at peace, they will continue to haunt the earth, for all eternity, even long after all those they knew were gone.

Shiro wondered if that’s what he was, a ghost with unfinished business.

That’s the question that brought him to Keith’s bedroom door that night. If he had any unfinished business, it was here.

He steps through the door.

Keith’s moving in his sleep, grunting, cringing - the middle of a nightmare.

Just like Shiro.

Shiro places a hand on Keith’s forehead, holds it up just so that he doesn’t phase through him. It’s the little things like that that keep him sane.

“Takashi… _no…_ ” Keith mutters in his sleep, and a lump forms heavy in his throat. He hasn’t heard his first name in such a long time. Not in over a year, though it feels like centuries.

He stays with Keith the whole time, his hand on top of Keith’s, grazing the skin, imagining what Keith would feel like under his fingertips.

Keith's eyes spring open, a gasp escaping his lips as he jolts up in bed, going right through Shiro. He pants heavily, chest heaving; his hands curl into the bed sheets, Shiro’s hand still enveloping his.

“What are you trying to tell me…?” Keith whispers. Shiro turns so he can see Keith’s face. He’s clearly shaken, but more so the gears are turning in his mind - the way Keith’s brows furrow, the way he bites his lip, the way his nose crinkles. It’s just so _Keith_ that it drives Shiro crazy, he could kiss him.

He’s had a lot of time to think. It’s cruelly unfair really, that he’s finally figured out his feelings for Keith when he can’t act on them, when he may never be able to act on them.

He’s in love with Keith - has been in love for a while, but the timing had never been right. Kerberos. Zarkon. Voltron. His current state.

To be in love, to be lost.

If he ever gets out of this mess, he knows the very first thing he’s going do.

Keith stands up slowly, pacing the length of his small room, his bare feet padding softly against the floor. He stops at the back wall, at his awoken blade.

In the faint purple glow, Keith’s face looks gaunt, sickly, drained - dead even. Shiro recognizes himself in Keith, he knows the burden of leadership well, and _fuck_ , he hates himself for putting it onto his shoulders, unwillingly or otherwise.

“Where are you, Takashi…?”

* * *

“Allura, set course for the Blade of Marmora headquarters.” Keith says, sitting down in his chair - the red paladin’s, still - on the bridge. “I have an idea. I need - there’s something I need from them, to find Shiro.”

No one moves.

Allura’s face kills Shiro, all their faces do - that mixture of pity and grief.

“Please, just trust me,” Keith begs, biting his lip, he looks likes he’s in pain, like the next words taste sour in his mouth, “if this doesn’t give any answers - then I don’t know what else will.”

_If this doesn’t work, nothing will._

He knows Keith’s exhausted every resource available, the library, the video archives, Allura’s new found magic even, but nothing's worked. The black bayard remained on lockdown - that was the key, they had figured out.

Shiro had figured out a little more: when he and Black phased, Shiro didn’t return. He thinks his destroyed Galra arm has something to do with that. But even if he knows how he got like this, he, and more importantly _they_ , have no idea how to get him back.

They don’t even know that he’s standing right there.

Allura and Keith’s eyes lock, that silent agreement passing between them.

If this doesn’t work, then you accept that.

Allura turns back to her controls. “Setting course for the Blade of Marmora headquarters.”

Lance leans over to whisper to Keith, “Keith, are you sure about this?”

Keith shakes his head. “It’s all I’ve got, Lance.”

When Keith turns away from Lance again, back towards the opening wormhole, Shiro could have sworn that their eyes locked  for a moment - a split second of Keith seeing him right there - but it passed just as quickly, like it didn’t even happen at all.

* * *

Shiro figures out Keith’s plan as soon as they finish the wormhole jump.

Now, he’s back in Keith’s room again.

And Keith’s wearing _the_ suit.

_His suit has the ability to create a virtual mindscape, reflecting its wearer’s greatest hopes and fears. And, at this moment, your friend desperately wants to see you._

It’s still strange, for Shiro to see a hologram of himself. But this time it’s downright tortuous, this out of body experience. Keith can see this Shiro, he can touch this Shiro. The sound Keith makes upon all that - it breaks his heart, how he breaks down.

“Shiro,” Keith’s voice cracks, “ _Shiro_.”

“I entrusted you with the team,” this Shiro spats, “but I guess I was wrong. Once again you’re putting yourself above the team.”

 _Hopes_ , Kolivan had said, _and fears_.

This was a fear. His and Keith’s both.

“Shiro,” Keith pleads, “I’m trying to find you-”

“You’re just afraid to be a leader. You can’t handle the responsibility. You’re just trying to find your family-”

“ _You’re_ my family, Shiro, you’re _everything-_ ”

“And you are _nothing_.”

Shiro runs. He can’t stay and watch this anymore. He can’t see himself act that way towards Keith; he can’t see Keith sob and break it’s too much, it’s all too much.

He’s running with no real sense of direction, but he’s not surprised to end up in Black’s hangar. After all this time she’s still in a heap on the floor - a relic, a shrine, a tombstone. Shiro hops inside - running his hand along the walls, the console, the chair - anything, anything at all to make him feel whole.

He can’t get those images out of his head - of Keith, on the floor, of himself towering over him. Shiro didn’t think that, those things the hologram of him said, he would never say that-

But this isn’t about what Shiro would have said or not have said. It’s about Keith.

Is that what Keith thinks of him? Is that what Keith thinks of _himself_?

The hell he is enduring now is nothing like what he endured as Zarkon’s prisoner.

Shiro wants nothing more than for all this to be over - for him to be reunited with Keith, or even just to disappear completely, he doesn’t know anymore. 

All Shiro knows is that he just wants this to end.

* * *

He doesn’t know how much time has passed - he’s stopped leaving the sanctuary of the Black Lion completely - but Shiro wakes to the noise of someone stomping up the Black Lion.

It’s Keith, because who else could it be? He’s in his full paladin armour - still red. He’s got this wild look of determination on his face: ragged and raw, like he hasn’t slept in days.

He’s got the black bayard in his shaking hand.

Keith slams down in the pilot’s chair, looking crazed. He’s buzzing with energy, positively pulsing with it.

 _“Keith? Keith what are you doing?”_ Pidge. Over the comms.

“Keith, don’t do anything reckless-” Allura.

“Keith, come on dude-” Lance.

“We agreed that the black bayard is unstable-” Coran.

“You’re not yourself right now, buddy, think about what you’re doing-” Hunk.

_Keith, Keith what are you doing?_

Black comes to life as Keith takes the controls. There’s tears rolling down Keith’s cheeks, a cough, a splutter.

_I’m right here, I’m right here._

“I’m coming for you, Takashi.” Keith whispers, and then he’s flying out of the hangar, towards the asteroid belt ahead.

Shiro’s taken along with the Black Lion. He can feel the Black Lion, it’s invigorating, he’s never felt more _alive_ \- he’s connected to her again, and through her, connected to Keith-

And suddenly he knows exactly what Keith is doing.

It’s the last chance he’s got.

Keith clutches the black bayard tightly in his hand and whispers: “I love you, Takashi.”

There’s something growing inside Shiro’s chest, threatening to bubble over.

He places his hand on top of Keith’s, on top of the black bayard.

“I love you, Keith.”

Together, they slam the bayard in its dock, and turn it.

And everything goes white.

* * *

When Shiro comes to, there's something digging into his back-

Pain - _physical pain_ \- he couldn't feel that before, he couldn't feel _anything_ before-

Shiro’s eyes snap open - he can feel something, he can feel something again

Keith's knocked out in pilot’s chair, hunched over, the black bayard hanging limply in his hand, his helmet on the floor having been thrown off.

He can see the rise and fall of Keith’s chest. He's still breathing, he's still breathing...

Shiro’s hand is shaking as he reaches out towards Keith. Shiro’s holding his breath, his heart threatens to burst from his chest-

Shiro’s hand makes contact with Keith's hair.

_He makes contact._

He can feel Keith’s locks beneath his fingertips.

Shiro chokes out a sob of relief. _He’s back, he’s back he’s back._

He runs his hand along Keith’s hair, confirming over and over again that he’s back, that this is real, that’s this is-

Keith stirs under his touch, groaning,

There’s no air in Shiro’s lungs, but he manages anyway to get a word out, through a raw throat and chapped lips.. “ _Keith_.”

He feels the electricity spark through Keith. _Keith can hear him Keith can hear him._

Keith’s eyes groggily flutter open. “Shiro…?” Keith groans, shifting in the chair, _he’s hurt he’s hurt_. “Where…?”

“I’m right here.” Shiro says, his voice cracking. He cradles Keith’s head, holding it up. “I’m right here, Keith, I’m here.”

“Is this…” Keith’s looking at him, seeing him, “is this real?”

A laugh escapes Shiro’s mouth, a desperate, relieved laugh through his sobs. “This is real- you- you found me. You found me.”

Keith weakly brings a hand up to run along Shiro’s face. “You’re really here.” A smile spreads across Keith’s face, and Shiro can’t take it anymore.

Shiro pulls Keith’s head forward, and kisses him.

He’s dreamt about this, imagined it many times before - but none of that lives up to the real thing. He can’t get close enough - and Keith can’t get close enough either, responding eagerly in his weak state.

“I love you,” Shiro says against Keith’s mouth, “ _love you I love you-”_

 _“Takashi,”_ Keith breathes out, and Shiro’s name has never sounded or tasted as good before. He kisses Keith’s mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, the space between his brows - everywhere, he can’t get enough.

“Keith? Keith are you there?” A faint noise meets Shiro’s ears. Allura’s voice, coming from Keith’s dislodged helmet on the floor. “There’s no signal coming from the Black Lion. Keith, please respond. Keith. Keith, do you copy?”

Shiro pulls back, and it’s one of the hardest things he’s ever done. Keith doesn’t let go, holding onto Shiro with both hands, clinging to him, like if he were to let go Shiro would disappear again.

Shiro leans over and scoops up the red helmet in his hands.

“We copy,” Shiro says, not taking his eyes off Keith, who's buried his face in Shiro’s chest. “We’re going to need a tow, though.”

* * *

 

Everything after that’s a blur - getting back on the ship, reuniting for with everyone. The crying, the hugging, the disbelief, the relief. There’s so many hands on him, so many people looking at him, it’s overwhelming. As Coran scans them for injuries, he tries to explain the best he can: what he thinks happened, what he’s gone through these past four months…

“You… you mean to tell me…” Keith looks up at him, clinging to Shiro’s side - whether for support or to reassure himself, Shiro doesn’t know, but he hasn’t disconnected himself from Shiro, not once. “You were _here-_ you were here _this whole time_?”

Tears welled up in Shiro’s eyes. “Yeah,” he says, squeezing Keith with his arm, “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere if I could help it.”

Keith’s knees give way then, sobbing, and Shiro goes down with him, supporting him with his arm. 

“I’m sorry,” Keith cries, “I’m sorry I didn’t- figure it out sooner. All this time-”

Shiro rubs circles into Keith’s back. “It’s okay, you did it,” Shiro says through his own tears, “You did it, you brought me back. Shiro loves you, baby. You saved me, you got me, I’m right here. _I’m right here…_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> on tumblr @[sheithlion](http://sheithlion.tumblr.com)


End file.
